Wedding Do-Over

I was writing a post for my work website about my wedding and what would I do If I could do it all again?  My wedding, a do-over… What would I keep the same, what would I change?  What would I made different then, in 2006, and what would it be like now in 2013.  Well, a lot of things actually.  I was inspired by this article about wedding regrets on the Wedding Ideas website that made me think specifically about my flowers, which was one of the many things that didn’t go well on my wedding day.

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  1. Photographer.  We would want a very different style and would totally invest the memory of the event we worked so hard for.  Jenn & Dave Stark win the award for favorite photographers!
  2. Videographer.  We didn’t care much about quality and just had a friend capture the ceremony.  So we did have one, but it was a breezy afternoon and you couldn’t hear anything.  We just wanted something to show the family and friends who couldn’t make the trip to the wedding.  We’d want to improve that.
  3. Time.  I wouldn’t get married on a Friday (late) afternoon.  When we booked that date, it was purely to save money, $20 per person was a big enough deal to have it on a Friday.  Later, when being invited to other weddings on Fridays, I hated having to leave work early or drive in weeknight traffic to get to a weekday wedding.  It so happened that my grandparents got stuck behind a huge accident on the highway and there was no way I was allowed to walk down the aisle without my grandparents being there, so we had to delay 50 minutes until they arrived.
  4. Timing and Seeing Each Other Before the Ceremony.  I would have done some pictures in advance so I could have actually enjoyed the cocktail reception.  I hardly got to visit with any of my guests.  We took a few of the the guys and the gals separately before the ceremony, but I would have done my pictures with Jon and the bridal party before the ceremony.  I would have loved to get those out of the way.  Then when I walked down the aisle, I would have already had my pictures done, been relaxed, already had fun for a little bit and ready to get married and have a party.  All of this switch would allow for eating, drinking and being married (teehee) instead of off taking pictures instead of celebrating with all the people who came to celebrate with us, right?!
  5. DJ.  Our reception DJ, oh, our DJ… TERRIBLE.  Absolutely AWFUL.  We waiting until the last minute to book a DJ because we were waiting to see how much money we had left over in our budget to book one.  We were looking for a DJ who could fit within our budget.  We did a phone consultation with a different person than who actually showed up on the day and it was awful.  He didn’t know how to DJ.  That’s what it all boils down to.  Play the full length of every single song.  Wouldn’t take requests… And played Celine Dion.  Ew.  It was brutal.  We would have been better off with a buddy and an ipod.
  6. Attire.  This is more of a style thing.  Obviously my style has changed in seven years.  But I wouldn’t wear a veil, nor a tiara, nor a dress like I had chosen… And I wouldn’t go strapless.  That’s a huge regret.  When I tried on my dress it was in a much larger size and it fit my bust quite well even though it was large everywhere else.  When they measured me and I ordered my dress and it arrived, they had underestimated how short the bust would be of the dress in my size.  Though the measurements were correct, the bust was not deep enough…. Basically I was falling out of my dress the whole time.  I hated it.  I would never wear a strapless dress.  Ever.
  7. Colours.  I liked my colours.  But I would probably choose something different.  Going with my green and gold with pink accent was safe and pretty.  But too formal and traditional.  I’d be way more gutsy with my choices now.
  8. Going Away.  I’d change into a pretty outfit and get outta my dress before leaving the reception.  Have someone else worry about taking my big giant dress home, and not have to worry about me getting it to someone before leaving for my honeymoon… Just a lot of details that would have been easier if I changed out of my dress first.  And an opportunity to have another cute outfit.  Just saying.
  9. FLOWERS.  Obviously the most important part.  Which is why I leave it until the end.  My wedding theme was basically a floral theme… Everything was based around flowers… Flowers for everything, bridal party, body flowers, petal toss, aisle runner, centrepieces, reception hall, ceremony, overlays had a floral embroidery.  My decor budget was flowers.  Being married on June 16, almost at the longest day of the year, there was hardly a need for candles, since the sun wasn’t setting until 9:30 – we needed flowers for all decor.  Now I had this thing, I wanted to be different.  And the way I wanted to be different was no roses.  To be out of the box, to be outside of the norm I wanted no roses at my wedding.  So think 2006….  That made the other  trendy flowers and best options for me peonies, orchids, mums, berries, callas, ranunculus, etc.BUT HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED.I went with my mom and sister to a decor company who had an excellent floral design team to discuss my florals.  I told them my thoughts and ideas, which were rather scattered at the time.  They sent back a proposal that I didn’t quite agree with and made some major changes as well as minor tweaks.  Some of these important pieces that I felt were missed were:  no roses, to be mainly green flowers with touches of pink and white, a lot of variety in flowers, oversized bouquets (to match my “oversized” frame).  They redid the proposal, made the changes requested where necessary and we signed off.  When my bouquets arrived on my wedding day, I opened the box, I looked at my bouquets and I burst into tears.  The girl delivering obviously knew there was something wrong.  There was no way I was able to hide my sobbing.  The bridesmaids bouquets were so tiny and were only white roses with some green berries and some bear grass sticking out.  Boring, white and almost all roses.  My bouquet had been mostly white and some pink, lots of roses and callas, very round and not big enough for my body or my dress.  The girl delivering said that she could at least take my bouquet back to the shop, and make changes to my bouquet, but there wouldn’t be enough time to make changes to all the bridesmaids bouquets as well.  Obviously mine was the most important.  When she came back with my improved bouquet, she showed me my order and explained to me this.  The designer who was in charge of my order had to fly out two days ago on a family emergency and she left your order with our team to fulfill on her behalf.  We followed her recipes and directions precisely as they were left by her from your meetings.  When I looked through the order it was the original proposal that was sent through, not the improved proposal after the emails back and forth making the changes to the green flowers, the no roses, the variety, the big bouquets, etc.  My order was all wrong.  My improved bouquet was much better, and it was way more fun and much closer to what I was looking for.  Obviously, the whole scenario would have been way different, my order would have been correct…  Don’t get me started on the centrepieces.  Somehow purple was worked into the order and allowed for the centrepieces and my large ceremony arrangements and roses made a guest appearance.  Geez.  So many lessons learned!
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The Things I Wouldn’t Change About My Wedding:

  1. Ceremony & Cocktail Reception Music.  We loved our music for the ceremony, it was all canned for walking down the aisle, but mixed perfectly and timed perfectly thanks to my husband’s sound engineering talents.  We had live music during the ceremony for signing of the register and such.  And we had incredible live jazz music by my friend Laila Biali (before she got super famous) during our cocktail reception, all amazing…
  2. Atmosphere.  We created a very fun and laid back atmosphere that got people to say” this is the best wedding I’ve ever been too” or “this is the most fun I’ve ever had at a wedding”.
  3. Open Bar.  ‘Nuf Said.
  4. Brownie Cupcakes with Chocolate Ganache.  We don’t really like cake.  So we didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on cake!  We made brownies a few months beforehand, froze them.  Made the chocolate ganache two nights beforehand and had a family friend assemble.
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  5. Hair.  My friend Amanda did my hair.  She has no training at all.  She always looks fabulous and she knows her way with a bobby pin.  She kept me at easy, took her time and my hair was rock solid and not a hair fell out of place.  Style might be a bit different… But that aspect, I loved.
  6. Speeches.  My sister (maid of honour) and Jon’s best friend (best man), who are now married, did one speech together on behalf of all the friends and bridal party.  Perfectly short and sweet.  My parents did a speech on behalf of all the family.  Perfectly short and sweet.  We did a speech thanking everyone for joining us for the celebration and we got that party started!

So, that’s what I have to say about my wedding.  What about you?  What are your biggest wedding regrets, wedding do-overs, or the things you would absolutely not change for a second?!

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